Aselin

Shortly after embracing my paranoid delusion that the Secret Service was stalking my dog on behalf of the Obama family I came to the realization that there may be more to this story.

As I previously stated, Obama is a ‘man of the streets’. Being a man of the streets I expected him to know there was no way he would find the designer dog he was looking for in a DC animal shelter. I ruminated for a while and something didn’t quite sit right with me about the whole picture, until I thought about pets and my own children. The light went on; this man is crazy like a fox.

Obama doesn’t want a dog. He got on the internet one night and googled “dogs you will never find at a shelter.” Two options came up Portuguese Water Dog and Labradoodle. He then made one of his persuasive speeches to the family about how there would be Change in the Obama family. How the dawning of a new day would bring hope to the canine world. Michelle and the girls were holding lighters swaying back and forth. The housekeeper fainted. He ended with the charge that each one of them would do their duty, their patriotic duty and there would be change. They would search high and low for the pet destined to usher in a new generation of hope...and change.

He’s doubly brilliant because while he is busy running the country, his mother-in-law now has to schlep the girls from shelter to shelter in search of their dog. All kinds of things are accomplished in this fell swoop. Mother-in-law, busy. Girls, busy. White House Presidential Suite, married adults only. It’s brilliant.

Now if he can only manage the economy, world affairs and the terrorism threat with the same efficiency we’re in business!

So for now, I believe my dog is safe. Besides, he’s a goldendoodle anyway.