Where the hampster wheel always turns

About Me

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Middle aged underweight high school graduate
"It is not advisable James to venture unsolicited opinions. You should spare yourself the embarrassing discovery of their exact value to your listener." - Francisco d'Anconia, Atlas Shrugged
"The soundest way to raise revenues in the long run is to cut taxes now." - John F. Kennedy

Reversing My Karma

Wednesday, July 13, 2011

I know. I've been bad.

I got lazy, then nothing funny was happening to me. Then, the universe decided to punish me by making REALLY unfunny things happen to me.

When I woke up this morning I was assessing the things I needed to do to stop the trajectory of life-crap accumulation and realized that I needed to get back to writing. Since only four people still check this blog with any consistency, I expect this post will be a shock to you.

To catch all of you up to date, you know those '80s movies that were popular for a while with people like Tom Hanks or Michael Keaton where something goes wrong, and then gets worse, and then when you think it can't possibly get worse - it does. And then after that it gets worse again. And then the most annoying distant relative moves in with them? Well, Everything except the distant relative moving in has happened to me. So I need to somehow put the brakes on the trajectory of my life and start moving in a different direction.

So, naturally I'm moving to Utah and joining a cult. OK, not a real head-shaving Koolaid-drinking cult, but after years of defending my Mormon faith from people who have called it a cult I've been worn down. Worn down by my own people. Those people who work at BYU. I have been trying, and trying, and trying to finish a long-overdue degree. I'm on my last class and clearly, after all these years of education I'm not smart enough to finish a 110 level economics course on my own so I must return to the mothership and see if I can complete my degree.

In order to get permission to do this I had to contact the professor currently administering the Econ 110 lecture. Now, tell me if this doesn't raise an eyebrow or two...he graciously gave me permission to attend his lectures at BYU. All our communication was through his e-mail address which ends in BERKELEY.edu WHAT? My final professor will be a professor visiting BYU from Berkeley? UCLA, CAL Poly, UCSD - I would get all of these, but BERKELEY? Clearly this is going to be GREAT!!!!! If anything just to be listening to this guy field questions from people who will ask things like, "How do I factor in my 10% tithing to the elasticity of demand ratio?" I'm gonna be in the front row.

To here's to my new trajectory. Here's to my #$%^& degree. And here's to some great entertainment sure to give me lots to write about!!