Aselin

It's pretty pathetic when one develops an intense jealousy toward their dog. Clearly you know me well enough to know I am speaking of myself. He lies, next to the air conditioner return, panting and having a spectacular doggie dream that includes yipping and fake running. It's more like twitching but I can tell in his dream he's traveling at warp speed after whatever fun his doggie brain has conjured.

I on the other hand am sitting across the room, unable to sleep, so I'm just staring at him. What a gift to sleep like a dog. Of course, I would miss the best parts of my day if I actually slept the 16 sound hours he requires, but still, a good 8 hours culminating with a puppy dream would be pretty sweet.

His day tomorrow includes a trip to the spa "Bark Avenue". He will be bathed, coiffed, primped, preened and polished into the glamor pup you're all used to. (Actually I'm having them shave off half of his hair because he's too hot) When he returns, Sanook will have a lovely hairstyle complementing his face.

I, on the other hand look like Tom Petty because my hairdresser has abandoned me, destining me to a life of bad, limp hairness. She's an awful lot like the Seinfeld Soup Nazi except with hair. She is mean to me, and I was a good tipper. Bark Avenue would not take a tandem dog/owner hair appointment. I tried. Sigh.

While the dog is at the spa I get to start school. I like school. I like sitting in the classroom. I usually anticipate these first day of school days with excitement. When I registered for the class I had to provide proof of residency on campus. Clutching my driver's license and awkwardly weaving my way through an Asian gang, A rapper gang, A Latino gang, the Sharks and the Jets I made it to the office unscathed. A quick xerox of the license and I was cast back out into the general population.

Entering the general population can be frightening for an elderly woman like me. I don't have pants that show my thong or butt crack. I don't have extra piercings denoting my coolness, I don't have any tattoos announcing my toughness; I'm a soccer mom with a book bag and keds. I'll sit in the front of the class, ask too many questions and be angry the day the teacher doesn't show up. I will be The Geek of the class. It's a role I've played since my youth. I do it well. But campus has changed since I was last there.

True there's always been a lot lot of smoking, swearing, glaring, and general adolescent rebellion vibe. I'm just hoping no one is packing heat.

After class, I'll pick up my dog from his day at the spa, he'll have a nap. Yep, I'm jealous of my dog.