Aselin

I promised to share the details of my gems of wisdom so here's the first in this week's series.

Spring in Arizona is a spectacular time. Vibrant blossoms spring from prickly cacti, the song of birds drifts through the air, windows are open, neighbors greet one another - it's just like the beginning of the Christmas carol "Silver Bells" without the snow.

Living in a former commercial orange grove offers me some exciting springtime opportunities. One of those opportunities is the annual springtime fruit harvest. We have Valencia orange trees. Lots and lots of Valencia orange trees. One kid counted 47, another kid counted 52, I am too lazy to count so I usually tell people we have "about 50 trees" and hope my kids aren't so profoundly math challenged (the number of trees is greater than their fingers and toes) that we actually have only 23. The point is we have a lot of trees. Having a lot of trees means we have a lot of oranges. Having a lot of oranges means we can have a lot of juice. See, there is a logical progression to this story.

As I have been in the process of reaping all the springtime gifts that Arizona offers me my joy has been thwarted by a tiny vermin with awesome reproductive capabilities. Greater then the prolific rabbit, the Arizona Fruit Fly produces flocks that seemingly come from out of nowhere. Unchecked, these flocks can get so dense that more than one of my kids has run into the kitchen to excitedly tell me how much they love and appreciate me, only to be cut off by the inhalation and gagging on a cluster of chaotic airborne tidbits. It's tragic really.

Having fought this battle before, I immediately knew what to do - first, have the kid wash the bugs stuck in their molars down with a glass of juice. The combo of fruit fly and orange juice packs quite a protein-fiber punch. Second, it was time to put out "the traps." There are a lot of things in life which have important purposes, but unfortunate processes. Things like vaccinations, taxes and fruit fly traps.

The Internet has a whole bunch of ideas on how to eliminate the little buggers. Only one of them actually works: the oil and vinegar trap. Sadly, our flock of flies would require multiple traps - or me in a gas mask spraying malathion throughout the kitchen. So, for the last few weeks, we've had small bowls with vegetable oil and cider vinegar placed in strategic locations throughout the room. The good thing: they work. The bad thing: they ain't no scented candle. Each time I walk into the kitchen I cringe to think of what visitors to my home think.

The reality is that it there is a viable, wrestle able social decision between wanting people to contend with a flock of fruit flies, or be subjected to a gas cloud of cider vinegar. Seeing as how no one has come to visit for the last few weeks, I'm thinking I made the wrong choice.