Aselin

This week I have been asked to give a talk to a group of women about women - don’t laugh. As I have mulled the topic, trying to prepare I’ve been considering some of my fellow vacationing sisters. You learn a lot about people when you travel.

During the week we spent together I decided that each of these women has made one or more of my short lists. I have a short list of phone-a-friend people I will call when I’m on “Millionaire.” I have a list of people who will actually answer the phone when I need help moving. I have a list of people never to accept food from... my list of lists is extensive.

This week I was lucky enough to travel with four women, three of whom I met on the trip. I’ve put one of these ladies on the list “People I want with me if I’m ever caught in a foxhole.” I want her there. Based on my observations she will have likely packed a rocket launcher, night vision goggles a helicopter and handiwipes.

I watched her conquer extreme anxiety, catapulting her fear of snorkeling to a scuba certification in a matter of hours that made me cheer with pride. She also made a fascinating art out of looking good, no looking great, always - even coming up from the bottom of the pool tangled in scuba gear, radiant with accomplishment. This skill takes time, planning and effort. I need to become her indentured servant.

Another sister made a different list “People that must always be around for my entertainment.” Right and left she was seizing moments with a gusto hitherto for unseen. She had no hesitation, no social fear that often holds the rest of us back. She’s developed a whole host of talents she can use in rare moments that leave the onlookers in awe. I can roll my tongue like a taco, she can do the worm and sing with a depth that can make grown men cry. She has a collection of dreams and goals that keeps her looking forward with both anticipation and purpose. I can’t wait to hear about her tomorrows.

Sometimes the quiet among us have the most depth. I also met a steel magnolia of a woman, unflappable yet demure. More than once I pictured her skin diving with a knife between her teeth, hunting some dangerous bivalve. She exhibited a curiosity for life that brought an intimacy to the people lucky enough to be with her. She paid amazing attention to detail proving she was really listening, really interested and just made me enjoy her company. Her smile and gentle nature belied a strength and confidence rare in people. She’s on my “people I want to skin dive” with list.

My final list today is “the list I’ll never be on.” I watched in amazement as my friend exuded an unflappable peace, despite a deluge during a golf round, a husband with no social boundaries, and being on vacation with me. She celebrates those in her life for their goodness, and not only does she not dwell on their shortcomings, she can’t even see them. It’s really admirable, and totally outside the scope of my sassy, sarcastically wired brain.

But the reality is, I should be more like her. I should be more like all of them, and this is the great thing about having friends. All of my friends enrich my life, help me see things differently and often more clearly. They’re all on the list “people I’m glad I know.”