Where the hampster wheel always turns

About Me

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Middle aged underweight high school graduate
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"It is not advisable James to venture unsolicited opinions. You should spare yourself the embarrassing discovery of their exact value to your listener." - Francisco d'Anconia, Atlas Shrugged
"The soundest way to raise revenues in the long run is to cut taxes now." - John F. Kennedy
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One of the best things about marriage is the complementary characteristics that the union joins, making a complete package. Theoretically.

It was a big deal to me when I got married that I now had someone who would be in charge of the yard. We fell into the traditional roles - he was in charge of the outside and I was in charge of the inside. That's why we've won "Yard of the Month" multiple times and our refrigerator has been reported to the Health Department even more times.

The sad reality is, that in our marriage he brings a broader, more applicable skill set to real life. I can sculpt an entire miniature doll house Thanksgiving dinner. He can actually cook real food. I can take my car to get the oil changed; he can actually change the oil. I can get a tan; he can waterski in a long-sleeved shirt and scrub pants and look like he's evading some sort of evil water villain. We have very different skill sets.

So imagine my delight when hubby comes home last week and tells me he needs one of my special skills. I had made social plans with a friend to go out for her birthday dinner. I am in charge of the social calendar - so what I say goes. (Unless he says no.) Well, this woman's husband had made plans to surprise her for her birthday, the same night we had planned our dinner. Why I wasn't invited to this celebration still eludes me; I have excellent party skills. But the husband told us that we had to cancel our plans so we didn't interfere with his; one of us had to break up with her.

History has shown that I'm not that good at the break-up. One college boyfriend took it so well he stood beneath my window and yelled, cried and sang for days. My floor-mates loved that. Another one just looked at me and said "No." We ended up dating for two more months before I could convince him it was over. So even though my track record was not good, hubby said clearly I was the one to do it.

Protesting I said, "Me? Why do I have to do it?"

Without missing a beat he said, "Because you're the better liar."

Sadly. He is right. At least I bring some value to the marriage.

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