It has been brought to my attention that my last post was less than uplifting. So in the spirit of not being Debbie Downer I would like to share some positive things about having a slipped jaw disc.
1. Despite yesterday's decline in the Dow, I am singlehandedly increasing Advil stock.
2. I no longer have to attempt to eat those pesky cruciferous foods.
3. Wearing a nifty mouth guard makes people notice me.
4. It is not corn on the cob season.
5. I can finally store a wad of chewing tobacco in my cheek without people noticing.
6. This episode is helping me achieve that svelte physique I've always wanted.
7. Lhaso Apsos have been flirting with me.
8. When I sneeze I gross my kids out.
9. Over the phone people mistake me for Barney Frank.
See, this is much more fun than I intimated in my last post.
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"It is not advisable James to venture unsolicited opinions. You should spare yourself the embarrassing discovery of their exact value to your listener." - Francisco d'Anconia, Atlas Shrugged
"The soundest way to raise revenues in the long run is to cut taxes now." - John F. Kennedy
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sorry to hear this. keep on smiling though.
David
October 28, 2009 at 11:33 AM